Five things, then leave it alone
Alocasia have a reputation for drama, and honestly they have earned about half of it. The other half is us: shuffling them around the flat, repotting out of boredom, watering because it is Sunday. Here is everything I actually do.
Bright light, never direct sun
They are greedy for light and personally offended by direct sun. Grow lights on a timer, set to around twelve hours, are the best thing you can give them: steady, generous and the same in January as in June, which is more than any Swedish window can promise.
Self-watering pots
Self-watering pots are the way to go here: steady moisture, no guessing, none of the drought-then-flood routine. Just never forget the nutrients in the water. That reservoir is their entire dinner service.
Humidity over misting
Misting buys you roughly ten minutes of goodwill. A small humidifier, or simply crowding them onto one shelf, buys you the rest. They thrive between 60 and 85%. Land inside that band and the sulking stops.
Chunky, airy substrate
The roots want air nearly as much as water. A chunky, airy mix of bark, perlite and a little coco keeps them breathing, and lets you be generous without quietly rotting the corm.
Check for spider mites weekly
Undersides, where the veins meet. Catch them early and a rinse plus a spray sends them packing. Catch them late and you are not treating a plant, you are holding a wake.
The first two weeks after it arrives
Leave it in the pot it arrives in. I know: the nice pot is right there and your hands are itching. Leave it anyway.
Keep the water topped up to about a third of the cup, and never let it dry out completely.
A yellowing leaf is the plant settling its travel bill, not a sign of anything wrong. Give it time before you worry.
And this one outlasts the two weeks: moving a plant off Fluval Stratum onto a different substrate is a real setback for it, and some plants take it harder than others. Plenty come through fine, but if you ever do swap it, do it deliberately and with a good reason, not just because it is a Saturday.